“No one says, ‘I’m going to be unfair to this person today, brutal in fact, even though they don’t deserve it or it’s not helpful.’

Few people say, ‘I know that this person signed the contract and did what they promised, but I’m going to rip them off, just because I can.’

And it’s quite rare to have someone say, ‘I’m a selfish narcissist, and everyone should revolve around me merely because I said so.’

In fact, all of us have a narrative. It’s the story we tell ourselves about how we got here, what we’re building, what our urgencies are. And within that narrative, we act in a way that seems reasonable.

To be clear, the narrative isn’t true. It’s merely our version, our self-talk about what’s going on. It’s the excuses, perceptions and history we’ve woven together to get through the world. It’s our grievances and our perception of privilege, our grudges and our loves.

No one is unreasonable. Or to be more accurate, no one thinks that they are being unreasonable.
That’s why we almost never respond well when someone points out how unreasonable we’re being. We don’t see it, because our narrative of the world around us won’t allow us to. Our worldview makes it really difficult to be empathetic, because seeing the world through the eyes of someone else takes so much effort.

It’s certainly possible to change someone’s narrative, but it takes time and patience and leverage. Teaching a new narrative is hard work, essential work, but something that is difficult to do at scale.

In the short run, our ability to treat different people differently means that we can seek out people who have a narrative that causes them to engage with us in reasonable ways. When we open the door for these folks, we’re far more likely to create the impact that we seek. No one thinks they’re unreasonable, but you certainly don’t have to work with the people who are.

And, if you’re someone who finds that your narrative isn’t helping you make the impact you seek, best to look hard at your narrative, the way you justify your unreasonableness, not the world outside.”
– Seth Godin

“While some of use may differ in political opinions, still we are all united in one feeling for the Union. We all believe in the maintainance of the Union, of every star and every stripe of the glorious flag …”
– Abraham Lincoln

“Without the Constitution and the Union, we could not have attained the result; but even these, are not the primary cause of our great prosperity. There is something back of these, entwining itself more closely about the human heart. That something, is the principle of ‘Liberty to all’ – the principle that clears the path for all – gives hope to all – and by consequence, enterprize, and industry to all.”
– Abraham Lincoln

“The consequences of attempting to shortcut the natural process of growth in the business world can be dire. Executives may attempt to “buy” a new culture of improved productivity, quality, morale, and customer service with strong speeches, smile training, and external interventions, or through mergers, acquisitions, and friendly or unfriendly takeovers. But they ignore the low-trust climate produced by such manipulations. When these methods don’t work, they look for other Personality Ethic techniques that will – all the time ignoring and violating the natural principles and processes on which a high-trust culture is based.”
– Stephen R. Covey

Education – continually honing and expanding the mind – is vital mental renewal.  Sometimes that involves the external discipline of the classroom or systematized study programs; more often it does not.  Proactive people can figure out many, many ways to educate themselves.”

• Stephen R. Covey

The more aware we are of our basic paradigms, maps, or assumptions, and the extent to which we have been influenced by our experience, the more we can take responsibility for those paradigms, examine them, test them against reality, listen to others and be open to their perceptions, thereby getting a larger picture and a far more objective view.”
– Stephen R. Covey

“No Country can sustain, in idleness, more than a small percentage of its numbers. The great majority must labor at something productive.”
– Abraham Lincoln

“All change involves an if/then promise.

“If you want a delicious dinner, then try this new restaurant.”
“If you want to be seen as a hunk, drive this Ferrari.”
“If you want to avoid being dead, have this surgery.”

If people aren’t taking you up on your offer, there are two possible reasons:
1. Not enough if. Maybe the person doesn’t want the thing you’re promising as much as you need them to. Maybe they don’t care enough, won’t pay enough, just don’t want that sort of change.
2. Not enough then. More common is that we want the if, but we don’t believe your then. It’s easy to claim you’re going to deliver the then, but that doesn’t mean you have credibility.

When in doubt, add more if.

And definitely more then.”
– Seth Godin

Moving along the upward spiral requires us to learn, commit, and do on increasingly higher planes. We deceive ourselves if we thank that any one of these is sufficient. To keep progressing, we must learn, commit, and do – learn, commit, and do – and learn, commit, and do again.”
– Stephen R. Covey

“Shannon Weber decided that there wasn’t enough love, recognition or connection in her world, so she did something about it. When she finds an unsung (don’t say ‘ordinary’ hero) she makes them a cape.

Caping people, catching them doing something right, shining a light on a familiar hero.

It turns out that this is way more difficult than being cynical, or ironic, or bitter. Being closed is a lot easier than being connected. It takes guts.

What kind of impact does one act of kindness make? It can last for years.

Go, cape someone.”
– Seth Godin