“One way to determine which circle our concern is in, and therefore how proactive we are, is to distinguish between the have’s and the be’s. The Circle of Concern (those things that concern us but over which we have no real control) is filled with the have’s:
‘I’ll be happy when I have my house paid off.’
‘If only I had a more patient husband …’
‘If I had more obedient kids …’
‘If I had my degree …’
“If I could just have more time to myself. …’

The Circle of Influence (those things that we can do something about) is filled with the be’s – I can be more patient, be wise, be loving. It’s the character focus.”
– Stephen R. Covey